Drunk Driving Lessons from the Miraculous Alcoholics
When the miraculous alcoholics gun their engines
And drag race the wrong way on a one way,
Their arms and legs suggesting street signs need to be revised,
Police agree their impaired motor skills provide more thrilling rides
And are so happy for them, especially as they take air over bumps
In the backwoods or hills. They issue no DUIs.
It’s a miracle they’re still alive, the way they’re swilling
Vodka, gin, whiskey and vermouth, their garage
A bottle collage, a private liquor store. Boozed
Up dipsomaniacs, reckless from Kalamazoo to Duluth,
No small miracle it is they find their way home at night.
What nerve they have to whoop out loud,
Honking at the cops, swerving with delight.
