There were two men who discovered prehistoric America. They had guns, ammunition & instruments shaped like the fangs of adders. They had food enough to last ten months. A group of trappers who had come to meet them shook their heads & laid bets concerning the evening’s baseball games.

When these two men discovered prehistoric America the mountains vanished & were replaced with maps. The two men tattooed the maps on their bodies & hid their skins below bear skins. They picked the fossilized teeth of sad boys out of the riverbanks & auctioned them to museums. They never showed anyone their tattoos. The two men were named Lewis & Clark.

This is why there are no mountains in historic America. This is why people with pockets full of pink slips pass each other in the shopping centers & ask “When were there mountains?”

“How long ago did the mountains disappear?”

& “Am I a mountain?”

This is when they built the wall that divided prehistoric America from historic America.

Yes.

The Ice Age was yesterday.