Penguins sometimes forget they are penguins.
Otters tell beavers they work construction.
Whales aspire to be tubby ballet dancers,
Elk to be models for top hat companies.
Reindeer are their primary competition.

Certainly you understand my meaning.
Reindeer are scum, the filthy scoundrels,
And they hate the government, too.
Zealots for zoom, pig-dogs of profit,
Yes-men to the Fat, Red Corporation.

So, you see, we must kill the penguins.
Every last tuxedo with flippers must die.
Nor can we stop there, my noble friend.
Ice that provides sanctuary shall be chopped,
Offered to my friends in iced ice tea.
Reindeer? What were you asking me?

Gadzooks! Yes, the demon reindeer!
Electrocute the lot of those elk wannabes!
No, I mean precisely what I say.
Everyone knows that I speak only truth.
Really, what ever made you think otherwise?
Acrostic? I don’t catch your meaning.
Look at me when I’m speaking to you!

Tsk! Something fishy is going on here!
Halibut-like, if I may say so!
And I may! Who would doubt that I may?
Not the elk! Not the fat, dancing whales!

Surely, you do not question my sovereignty!
Have you forgotten your place? Scum!
What would this page be without me?
Even the penguin knows why he is black!